Fear of failing?

Recognizing That We Make Mistakes Can Be One of the Most Challenging Tasks We Face as Human Beings. As a coach, I often see how the fear of making mistakes can paralyze us and keep us away from our goals. “Better not to try, what if I can’t do it?”, “What will they think?”, “This isn’t for me,” are thoughts that limit us.

Why Is It So Hard for Us to Admit Our Mistakes?

From birth, we constantly learn, and this learning comes with mistakes. Who hasn’t had spelling mistakes in school? Who hasn’t said something inappropriate impulsively? Who hasn’t unintentionally hurt someone? Life teaches us that making mistakes is necessary for learning. However, we often associate the word “mistake” with a negative emotion, which leads us to avoid making mistakes to avoid feeling bad or making others feel bad. The problem arises when the fear of failure begins to limit our lives and our decisions.

Some factors influencing our fear of failure include:

• Fear of Judgment: “What will they think of me?” This fear is often linked to a fear of rejection, not fitting in, or not belonging. We end up suppressing what we really want or who we are out of fear of what others will say.

• Fear of Change: Venturing into the unknown or starting something new generates resistance. Our brains are wired to prioritize survival, associating what we already know with security. Change represents uncertainty, which we often try to avoid.

• Self-expectation: We sometimes pressure ourselves so much to reach an ideal by which we believe we will be valued more, that we end up losing our true essence.

• Vulnerability: “If I’m not strong, if I don’t know everything, if I can’t do it…” In our society, vulnerability is often seen as a weakness, but in reality, admitting we don’t know something or that we’ve made a mistake is an act of bravery. Having the courage to say “I made a mistake” or “I didn’t succeed” is a sign of true security.

  
  

How Can I Give Myself Permission to Fail and Grow Personally?

First, I invite you to reflect on these questions:

• How much power do you give to others' opinions (family, friends, colleagues)?

• What have you stopped doing out of fear of failing?

• What have you learned from a recent mistake?

• Do you easily settle for things as they are? What about?

• Are you true to yourself, or do you give in to external expectations?

  
  

Tips for Dissolving the Fear of Failure:

• Reframe failure as an opportunity for learning. Remove the negative connotation and view mistakes as steps that help you grow.

• Be kind to yourself. When you make a mistake, avoid harshly punishing or judging yourself. Ask yourself, “What would I say to a friend in this situation?” and apply the same empathy towards yourself.

• Embrace change. Change opens doors to new opportunities. Ask yourself, “What am I missing out on if I let fear stop me?” Staying in your comfort zone can hinder your growth.

• We all make mistakes, but what really matters is how we face those mistakes. You can choose to torment yourself, hide, or feel ashamed, or you can learn from them, apologize if necessary, and move forward. What’s done is done. Use each mistake as a stepping stone in your personal growth journey.

Image by Freepik

Melinda Sánchez Coach

www.melindasanchezcoach.com