Can you identify how you feel?
- Melinda Sanchez
- Dec 9, 2024
- 2 min read
Many of us go through life day by day on autopilot (if you want to learn more about autopilot, click here). We wake up at the same time every morning, have breakfast, work, eat, go to the gym… And another day goes by, and another, and another.
Usually, we only notice our emotions when we’re having a bad day and feel upset, anxious, worried, or experience something in our body that signals we’re not quite okay. But if we’re smiling because we’re having a great day, how often do we stop to savor that feeling of joy, excitement, or satisfaction?
First and foremost, it’s important to understand how an emotion is created:
Situation: what happens
Thought: what I think
Behavior: what I do
Emotion: what I feel
When facing a situation, we generate a thought which will create an emotion that can be either pleasant or not so pleasant. Based on that emotion and how it makes us feel, we will act in a certain way.
Example: At work, they announce there will be a promotion opportunity for a team member.
Positive Thought: “Great, I have a chance to grow.”
Negative Thought: “Surely they won’t give it to me.”
The situation is the same, what changes is the thought.
Positive Emotion: I feel excited because I have an opportunity.
Negative Emotion: I feel frustrated because I sense they won’t give me the opportunity.
The emotion is produced by how we think.
Behavior derived from the positive emotion: I prepare for the interview intensely, focusing on getting the position.
Behavior derived from the negative emotion: “Why bother trying if they’re not going to give it to me?”
This sequence can be applied to any situation we encounter in life. How do we do it? Here are some tips for practice:
Throughout the day, pause for a moment to reflect on what you are doing and how you feel. For example, three times a day after meals.Sometimes we feel happy but don’t savor the emotion—enjoy it, live life more intensely.
If you feel bad, ask yourself what thought might be causing that emotion. Is there a way to change your thought about the situation? If the answer is yes, you were probably thinking on autopilot until you used your awareness to see the thought differently, and thus the emotion changes. There are times when the answer is no, so accept the emotion and try not to give it more power. Just accept it, and start transcending it. Decide how you act even when you feel bad—there’s a big difference between acting and reacting.
Use your body to better understand what you are feeling.For example, if you pause to notice how you feel and you’re frowning, or smiling, or breathing slowly, or your stomach hurts... The body is the best indicator of emotions we can find.
Remember: we are what we think. Welcome to the path of exploring your emotions.
Image by Freepik
Melinda Sánchez Coach
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