Do you know your fears?

Who hasn’t felt fear at some point? Fear is an emotion that brings uncomfortable, unpleasant, and sometimes paralyzing sensations, often intense. Some fears are more obvious or easier to identify, such as a fear of spiders, heights, or public speaking. Today, I want to talk about a different kind of fear—those hidden fears in our minds that are harder to detect. They lurk in the shadows, and we avoid facing them until BAM!—suddenly, they strike and leave us reeling.

Let’s look at an example:

Lucía is the CEO of a well-known logistics company. She has everything she could want: a luxury car, a mansion, three beautiful children attending the best schools, and a husband who looks like he stepped out of a fashion magazine. Her life seems perfect—but it’s not. One of Lucía’s hidden fears is that her husband will leave her. She is terrified of rejection, so she tolerates or turns a blind eye to her husband’s flings, disrespect, and constant arguments.

Another example: Roberto is a great guy—tall, attractive, and charming. He’s unable to commit to a serious relationship because deep down, he’s terrified of falling in love and being abandoned again, like his ex did to him. All his friends are getting married, and while he’d love to start a family too, the fear of reliving the same experience paralyzes him.

What are your fears?

First of all, let’s acknowledge that we all have them, and it’s completely normal. Sometimes, we might sense what they are, but facing them is difficult. Other times, we’re unaware of their existence and only suffer the consequences.

Often, we let ourselves be controlled by these fears because we don’t know how to set boundaries or because we believe that’s just how life is. We tell ourselves things like: “Better the devil I know than the devil I don’t,” or “I don’t want to go through that again.” Many of these fears are inherited from family or societal influences, for example: It’s okay to be treated poorly because that’s all I’ve ever seen in my family; better married and miserable than single; better not to try in case I fail.

When you truly begin to acknowledge these fears, you realize how much time you’ve spent locked in a dungeon you thought you couldn’t escape, when in reality, the door was never locked.

Trying to open the door isn’t easy, but knowing that freedom lies on the other side of fear is a crucial first step. From there, you can decide how to start confronting your fear, depending on your current situation. Each of us has a different process—what matters is not forcing it.

If you’re not ready to open the door, you can always open a window and breathe. Everything happens in its own time, and becoming aware is a significant first step.

Image by Freepik

Melinda Sánchez Coach

www.melindasanchezcoach.com