Do you know your listening levels?
- Melinda Sanchez
- Dec 10, 2024
- 2 min read
Listening… it’s easier said than done. Listening is important at certain moments, like when a friend is telling you a problem, and not so much in others, for example: when you’re cooking and have the TV on in the background. The second example could be more accurately described as hearing rather than listening. The problem arises when instead of really listening to your friend and their issues… you just hear them.
Listening involves paying attention to what you hear, whereas hearing is simply perceiving sounds through the ear. The attention required for listening is crucial for understanding the person in front of you, connecting with them, their emotions, body language, ideas, etc., and being able to respond if needed from all that information received.
Do you find yourself in any of these situations during a conversation?
The conversation is important to my interlocutor or to me, but subconsciously, I zone out, get carried away by my thoughts, and disconnect from what the other person is saying without realizing it until suddenly, I’m back in the conversation.
Someone is talking about an interesting topic and I’m more focused on what I want to say than on what they’re telling me.
I’m listening while simultaneously passing judgment on what I hear.
Depending on who’s in front of me, I listen… or just hear.
In all these situations, there is an important common factor that at some point disappears: attention, full awareness.
We can talk about three levels of listening:
I listen to myself and my own thoughts and at the same time, I'm listening to the other person.
I listen with attention, give ideas, add words, feel the energy...
I listen with total attention and empathy: emotions, sensations, little things...
When having conversations that matter to us, we should always be between level 2 and level 3. Why? What are the benefits of active listening?
Practicing mindfulness, paying full attention, when listening to someone at level 3, reduces my levels of anxiety. It contributes to making better decisions with more information. It makes me feel good about myself. It builds trust and improves relationships. It generates motivation in the other person. It helps develop social skills. It increases empathy.
How can I improve my active listening?
The biggest challenge here is bringing awareness to the conversation—listening with attention and intention. Here are some tips that can help:
Be aware of: If you are making judgments during the conversation. If you start thinking about something else and tune out of the conversation. If you are more focused on what you want to say than on what the other person is saying. To: Return to the conversation with attention and empathy in any of these situations. It’s about being conscious of how we are listening to the person in front of us and correcting our lack of attention. Relationships improve, your concentration increases, it builds trust and motivation… and it’s free! Want to give it a try?
Image by Freepik
Melinda Sánchez Coach
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