Do you know your saboteurs?
- Melinda Sanchez
- Dec 14, 2024
- 3 min read
How many times have you tried to do something you set out to achieve, only to give up because it felt impossible? “I want to quit smoking, I want to start eating healthier, I want to study for a master’s degree, I want to start meditating…” Do you want to know how to make it happen? This is your post.
Before we talk about how to achieve your goals, let’s understand what often makes us fail—or not even try in the first place. Inside each of us, there are different little inner voices that sabotage us. They speak from our unconscious, from our fears, insecurities, complexes, and self-criticism. We don’t consciously hear these voices; they whisper faintly in the back of our minds, subtly influencing our behavior. Here are some examples:
One of the main saboteurs that prevents us from reaching our goals is the fear of failure. For example, Nacho wants to quit smoking. He’s determined to do it, but when it comes down to it, he backs out and doesn’t understand why he can’t even start, despite genuinely wanting to quit. After a few coaching sessions, Nacho identifies a voice inside him saying: “Why bother trying? You’ll last two days without smoking and then go back to it. You’ll gain weight, you’ll be in a bad mood…”
Alicia really wants to study for a master’s degree in psychology. She’s researched several programs and virtual options to fit her schedule, but deadlines come and go, and she never ends up enrolling. After working with Alicia, she starts to recognize a voice telling her: “Are you going to go through that again? Exam after exam, constant evaluation—is that what you really want?” Alicia remembers that during her undergraduate studies, she struggled a lot with exams, and unconsciously, she doesn’t want to go through that painful experience of feeling insecure and judged again.
Saboteurs gain strength within us when we fail to notice them. Once they are identified, they start to lose their power because we can counter them with an infallible weapon: rationalizing the situation using our conscious voice, rooted in reality and the present.
When we detect that internal voice saying things like, “You can’t do it. Why try again? You’re wasting your time,” simply recognizing it weakens its hold. It’s like catching a child in the act of misbehaving—they feel caught and lose their boldness. The same happens with a saboteur: it loses some of its strength, and that’s the moment to bring out your conscious voice to counter it. For example, in Nacho’s case, his conscious voice might say: “I’m going to quit smoking because it will bring me great health benefits. I know I can do it; I’m capable and ready.” Alicia might say: “I’m eager to do this master’s program, and I won’t let myself miss the chance. My current situation is different from when I was in college—I don’t have to feel evaluated. I’m doing this because I want to.”
We give so much weight to our unconscious thoughts that we don’t realize how often they sabotage us. The mind is complex, but not impossible to understand. There are simple things we can do to make big strides toward achieving our goals. Coaching is a powerful tool that can help us understand why we behave in ways that pull us away from what we want to be or achieve.
Here are some tips to help you start working with your saboteurs:
What have you tried many times but haven’t been able to achieve?
What excuses do you often make for yourself?
What do you think is behind those excuses—fear, insecurity, self-criticism?
What does that voice say that’s holding you back?
What would you say to someone telling you: “You can’t do it. You’re not enough. They’ll laugh at you”? Say it to that voice.
Identify the benefits you’ll gain from pursuing what you want.
Repeat several times why you want to do it, and internalize it.
Like anything, it takes practice and determination, but if you truly want to achieve something, I invite you to practice neutralizing those saboteurs that keep you from moving forward. Remember: take it step by step, but stay steady. Experimenting is free!
Image by Freepik
Melinda Sánchez Coach
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