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Do you worry or do you take action?


Most of us have an innate ability to fly toward the future in an astonishing way. How many future scenarios are you capable of imagining in just a few seconds about a topic that worries you, and how many of those scenarios have any likelihood of occurring?


A client says to me: “Mel, I have a presentation at work, and I’m super prepared, but… what if I blank out, what if they ask me something I don’t know the answer to?”


Anxiety comes with the “what ifs…”: what if this happens? What if that happens? Those fears make us worry instead of actually dealing with what we need to do for things to go well. How do I deal with things instead of worrying beforehand?


  • Take notice of when the “what ifs” appear—that’s the first step. Pay attention to your body; it’s the best indicator that something is starting to bother your mind. Notice how you’re breathing, your body temperature, if your mouth is dry, if you have a headache or stomachache.

  • Take a breath, relax, and focus on what you’re really worried about, concentrate on the origin of the “what ifs.” For example: what I’m really worried about is what people will think of me if the presentation goes badly, I’m really concerned about my image.

  • Once you’ve identified what you’re truly worried about, ask yourself this question: What can I do to feel more secure in this situation?In this case, my client started working on reinforcing his presentation—practicing possible questions he might be asked, improving his gestures, non-verbal communication, and practicing, practicing a lot. There will be times when you probably can’t do anything, but at least, you’ll have come to the conclusion that there’s nothing you can do, and you’ll stop preoccupying yourself with something that generates unease or anxiety.


The idea is to actually focus your time on what makes you feel more calm or secure. Don’t give strength and energy to your fear; put your energy where you want to grow.

Image by Freepik

Melinda Sánchez Coach

 
 
 

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