Jiminy Cricket and I

That little voice inside us that tells us what we should do, that reminds us deep inside that we should make a different decision, do things differently, or be quiet before speaking… That little Jiminy Cricket we all carry inside, our inner voice of conscience, often lives far away from us because we've chosen to ignore it. Today, we're going to give that voice of your conscience the attention it deserves.

Most of us clearly understand the difference between what is right and what isn't, generally knowing what is good for us and what isn't. But… why do some or many times we do the opposite? For example: you know you should stop eating sweets because you eat too many, but you always end up eating one more, or that you shouldn't skip the gym because it's not only something you've paid for but also good for you to do exercise, etc.

Most of the time, not listening to our Jiminy Cricket, which is our conscience, leads to a feeling of guilt. We know we haven't done what we should have, and guilt lingers in our minds. Sometimes, guilt stays as just a distant thought, but other times it translates into something much more intense, an emotion that makes us feel bad and uncomfortable.

So, if I know I'm going to feel guilty afterwards, why do I keep doing it? We could talk about many reasons, but today let's focus on two of them:

• Immediate benefit

• Self-sabotage

  
  

Let's start by understanding that immediate benefit which gives a sense of pleasure in getting away with it. For example: today I play dumb and don't go to the gym, any excuse will do: I'm very tired, I had a horrible day, my ankle hurts a bit… and I stay sprawled on the couch drinking wine and watching series. At that moment, I feel immediate pleasure and I'm also happy because I've won, it's similar to that feeling of having been smarter than the other. The next day, I look in the mirror and think, "look at those love handles appearing." I spend the entire day lamenting and feeling awful because I skipped the spinning class yesterday. When we start to spiral into guilt, emotions turn negative: "yesterday I felt great watching my series and drinking wine, and today I'm in a terrible mood because I feel bad about myself." Obviously, I locked Jiminy away in a very distant box, and although the little voice told me that going to the gym would do me good, I closed the box with a key and put it in a drawer…

We self-sabotage when we put obstacles in our own way to success. Most of the time, we do it out of fear or a lack of confidence in ourselves. For example: in the case of making a thousand excuses not to go to the gym, deep inside me, there's a conviction that I'll never have the body I want, so in some way, I self-sabotage to avoid trying. Another example: Sergio is dating a wonderful guy; deep inside him, he thinks the guy will eventually leave like the others did, so unconsciously, he's doing everything possible to push this new guy away before he gets hurt again.

When we don't listen to our inner voice for the sake of an immediate benefit, guilt usually appears sooner or later. In the case of self-sabotage, our inner voice is much quieter, what predominates is the voice of the saboteur: "why go to the gym if it's not going to do you any good," "you'll see, this guy will leave you, he's just like all the others…" and guilt doesn't show up so immediately.

Tips to counteract your own conscious excuses (immediate benefit) or more unconscious ones (self-sabotage):

• Be clear about your purpose and make it realistic, what do you want to achieve? In the gym example: "I want to look more toned and lose some weight." In Sergio's case: "I want to have a calm relationship with this guy I've met and enjoy the moment."

• Make a plan with very short-term goals, stages that you can gradually achieve and give you small satisfactions as you make progress toward your purpose.

• Take Jiminy Cricket out of the box and listen a little more to your conscience when the saboteur voices come: "don't go to the gym, it doesn't do you any good," "that guy is going to leave you."

• Rationalize and stay focused, remember your purpose, rely on Jiminy, who is a very wise little creature.

• Our conscience is there to help us, try to listen to it more because it's yours, it's that little Jiminy Cricket who always looks out for you and your well-being. Appreciate the function of your conscience and pay it a little more attention, you'll surely start making better decisions."

Image by Freepik

Melinda Sánchez Coach

www.melindasanchezcoach.com