"Mirror, mirror on the wall..."

"Mirror, mirror on the wall..." said Snow White's stepmother as she stood before the magic mirror, which gave her a harsh dose of reality by proclaiming Snow White the fairest of them all. What does your mirror say to you when you look into it?

We live in a society where physical appearance has become a heavy burden for many. When we look in the mirror, we often fail to see beyond the surface of the image it reflects. If I were to ask you: How do you feel when you look in the mirror? most of you might respond with something like, “Ugh, summer’s here, and my belly’s still there,” “I really need to do something about my hair,” or “The years are starting to show.” Notice, though, that the question isn’t what do you see but how do you feel.

Reframing the question might lead some to say: "I feel bad, insecure, frustrated with my body, anxious," and so on.

When the mirror reflects an image that stirs negative emotions, it’s often due to a comparison with what we perceive as an ideal standard of beauty. For example, a very slender girl might wish for fuller curves and a larger bust, while someone with curves and a larger chest might wear shapewear to appear slimmer.

What is your ideal of beauty, and why is it your ideal? The answer to this question is often tied to societal and fashion trends of the moment. It’s fine to take care of yourself to feel good, but there’s a fine line between self-care and obsession.

What do you need to make peace with your mirror?

When you look at yourself, focus on something specific that you like about yourself. If you’re up for it, talk to yourself—say something like, “Wow, I have such beautiful eyes.” Usually, we’re not very kind to ourselves; we rarely nurture or pamper ourselves. Giving yourself permission to highlight your strengths and achievements is a form of positive reinforcement that can help you make peace with your mirror. Are you aware of how you talk to yourself?

If you’re never happy with what you see, the result can be perpetual dissatisfaction, which can affect your daily life and mood.

The mirror only reflects your physical appearance. If it could also reflect your soul, your essence, the image of yourself would surely include many positive aspects. Can you imagine what that reflection would look like? What qualities would stand out? Perhaps your courage, strength, perseverance, tolerance, joy...

Remember: your emotions—how you feel—are a reflection of your thoughts. Negative thoughts lead to negative emotions. Positive thoughts and self-affirmations lead to positive emotions. The choice is yours.

Image by Freepik

Melinda Sánchez Coach

www.melindasanchezcoach.com