The Unconscious Idealization

Each morning, as we open our eyes, we dive into an ocean of images and posts showcasing an endless parade of perfection: dream wardrobes, luxury cars, spectacular trips, flawless bodies, idyllic relationships, and seemingly unattainable professional success. Almost magically, ads for the very things you desire start appearing, featuring people who already have them. Without realizing it, you begin to compare yourself and idealize what you don’t have because, time and again, you're told that "this" is what will bring you happiness.

We do this unconsciously, allowing our minds to construct a false narrative of what an “ideal life” should look like. But what impact does this constant idealization have on our emotional well-being? How does it affect our personal satisfaction?

Every day, we're bombarded with images, ads, reels, and stories that reinforce automatic and almost invisible comparisons. Gradually, this can lead to a sense of dissatisfaction, which in many cases intensifies into feelings of emptiness, insecurity, anxiety, and other negative emotions.

Marketing and advertising have always been around, of course, but today our exposure to these stimuli has grown exponentially. Gratitude for what we already have becomes secondary, while dissatisfaction with what we believe we lack takes center stage. Suddenly, the job you once enjoyed bores you, your house seems too small, and the car you were so excited to buy no longer pleases you. Finally, you hear yourself saying, “I don’t know what’s wrong, but I feel like my life is unfulfilling.”

So, what do you think you need to be happy?

At the end of the day, what we truly want is to feel at peace, content, and in harmony with ourselves and those around us. When I ask my clients this question, most answer the same thing: they want to feel good about themselves. True happiness comes from within, not from external factors. Sure, buying a new car can bring you joy—why not? But the problem arises when you feel bad about not being able to afford the same model as someone else, triggering an internal dialogue of lack and frustration.

That internal dialogue is what fuels your discontent day by day. You automatically focus on the negative, and as I’ve said many times, the more you reinforce a thought—even an unconscious one—the stronger it becomes in your mind.

The dissatisfaction and emptiness created by idealization don’t stem from others but from our distorted perception of reality. Here are some key points to reflect on:

1. Ask yourself: How is my mood lately? What in my surroundings makes me feel like I’m not enough or that I should be better?

2. Analyze who you follow on social media: What or whom you follow says a lot about your unconscious ideals. Recognize and rationalize them. Remember, what you see is only a curated version of others’ lives. Everyone, without exception, faces struggles, even if they don’t show them.

3. Practice daily gratitude: Acknowledge what you’ve already achieved—the small things, moments of joy, and positivity. Practicing gratitude strengthens your ability to focus on the positive rather than dwelling on what you lack.

4. Limit your exposure to external influences: Be mindful of how much you expose yourself to these stimuli and take regular breaks to disconnect.

   
   

Remember, self-awareness and personal growth are essential pillars for achieving a fulfilling life. Reflecting on the external factors that influence us the most allows us to identify those comparisons that leave us feeling empty, frustrated, or angry. When we shift our focus toward internal well-being, we take the first step toward a more fulfilling and peaceful life.

Image by Freepik

Melinda Sánchez Coach

www.melindasanchezcoach.com