Who are your uncomfortable people?
- Melinda Sanchez
- Dec 10, 2024
- 2 min read
We all have people around us who make us feel uncomfortable—people we have to interact with and don’t enjoy being around. These individuals might be at work, in our family, or in a group of friends.
Think of one of these people and connect with the emotion you feel just imagining that you’ll have to spend time with them—not by choice, but out of obligation. Why do you think they make you so uncomfortable?
There can be many reasons, but if this person hasn’t done anything directly to you and they simply make you uneasy, it might be due to one of the following scenarios:
The person is very different from you, and you don’t share any values, thoughts, or opinions.
This person loves you deeply and/or you care about them, but they still make you uncomfortable, and you also feel guilty for feeling this way.
Just the thought of seeing this person generates anxiety, discomfort, or anger.
In these situations, you’re the one who feels uncomfortable. Therefore, the focus should be on you. Others, no matter how uncomfortable they may make you feel, have every right to be who they are and behave as they wish. The fact that they bother you is more about you than you might think. Why?
We tend to label others (in this case, as “uncomfortable”) when they are different from us. Objectively think about this person and whether they are truly so different from you in every way.
This person, just like you and me, has their own problems—perhaps even bigger ones than you can imagine. Their emotional state may be influencing yours.
It’s possible that this person feels uncomfortable around you. Maybe you evoke some feeling of discomfort or rejection in them because of the emotions you stir in them.
There are many possibilities in these situations, but the most important thing is how you feel. Here are three magical tools I recommend:
Empathy: Try to understand the other person. Ask yourself what might be going on with them and why they behave in a way that makes you uncomfortable.
Compassion: Practice non-judgmental understanding.
Emotional management: Everything that person makes you feel comes from within you and your past experiences. Look inward to discover the source of your discomfort, and you’ll take a step toward personal growth.
Image by Freepik
Melinda Sánchez Coach
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